13.11.06

F$#&@*~! S*~$T!

feel like I only get motivate to wrote an entry only when I feel like venting my anger over something but no one there's to listen...nah I only share good things with close ppl which is sooooooo few to mentions.. & not so much nice things happen lately..


I'm drench in despair.. wanna go back to childhood again just so some one would say 'everything gonna be Okay' but then again I've never met that kinda person.. someone who can promised to always be there for me.. *sniff*

Then I remind myself that this world is 2folds.. u gotta luv before u get luv back so if I've never luv anybody does this mean I'll never ever get them? I do *believe* in LOVE it just doesn't there for me or I never sense it was there.. I'm deprive for 'Love' coz there's no purpose for me here.. *sniff* pathetic fools..

enough for being mushy... I F***king mad at someone but then I already lost that feelin' so I could never stay mad at anybody for too long.. coz then I'll wonder why do I have to be sad & pissed off by some inconderate ppl? I don't wanna bother about them.. I even wanna forget they even exist in this world.. I kept wondering 'What the F**k have I ever done to Them?!'this life or other life time... no one is perfect but do ppl need to humiliate & suffer other ppl just for the sake of it? I'd like called that person a 'Bitch' but I never wanna badmouth anybody.. it just doesn't worth it.. I'm no saint or whatever but I was raise to feel guilty about it even in my sub-concious...

I hope & pray that next year will be better... or maybe it'll be worse... I can only imagine myself dieing lonely & miserable anyway..

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watching LOCH2007 Trailer~ it was amazing~!!! lol just pure excitement.. remember watching the 2003 ver. & yawning the whole time.. accurate to the novel or not I don't care coz I've never read the novel.. it should be FUN & Excited!!! hope 2007 ver. won't disappoint me :D