You're no good

Yesterday was X'mas right? but we got 'Big Cleaning Day' instead lol~

clean up the whole office & rearranging desks & spaces... I felt like my new position wasn't that good.. I got separated from other ppl [no more chitchat] & my new co-worker got shift to another floor [bwahhhh~!] .. what a bad way to start a new year ne~ but maybe it's good too coz I get to sit infront of the fish tank~ lol gonna watch those silly gold fishes doin' silly stuffs all day long XD water is good feng-shui too~ flowing life but then again it's infront of the hall way.. gonna get very distracted by ppl coming in & out... :(

Last nite while watch X'tina concert special on TV [ol' concert :P]
my bro asked me 'do u believe that David Tao can actually chage the world?'
coz I simply making a non-stop comments about how X'tina poorly interact with her audiences a couple of year back [hopefully by the time she came to MTV Thailand she'd be better] while David wait for like... 5-6 yrs 'till he come up with a big concert & he did a wonderful job with it..

lol~ I do believe that he can change the world.. atleast he makes me look at Chinese music world in a new way.. before I thought Korean/ Japanese music was way better than Thai/Chinese music but hey Thai music got 'Bakery' to do the job [even if it's already over] & Chinese music got 'David Tao' so now I only listen more to Chinese music .. his music particularly XD so I can't wait till I get to listen to his new album next year~!!! it's definatly gonna be a good one!!!

crazy feelin' creep up before new year.. next year will be my year.. I'm turning 24 by Dec next year... full 2 circles.. very odd..I still feel like a 15 yrs ol' looking for something to pass my time & not actually focus at anything... [big 'NG' sign pop up in my head]

you're no good.. zoe ;_;

OMFG~!!

like OMFG~!!! I just passed my sad B*day... & not so bright prospect of my life is looming ahead of me this year & next year but.. I still felt very secure...very happy coz of this guy >v< like OMFG~!!!!! he make me happy all over again~!!

u gotta meet him~ he's the talented artist I've ever met.. & he melt my heart with his pure soul~ the joy of knowing him makes me grow~

enough rambling>> http://www.davidtao.com/

just go & get a taste of Taoism~!! XD it's in Mandarin so u might not understand [I don't either] but there his angelic voice to guide u everywhere so u won't get lost~ heheh XD he's totally adorable in his place~ <3 <3

Love & peace~

I need My Angel~

I see a stranger in the mirror
The expression of those eyes are so dimly
I try to smile, but in fact I just reluctantly move the bitter corners of my mouth
Who will understand my loneliness?

Like a boat drifting on the sea, I can't find the Big Dipper
Who can raise the sail to move far away from this black tide?

Angel... angel...
Hoping you are by my side
Angel... angel...
Please hold my hand firmly

Sometimes, I think nobody will understand
The pain that hiding in my heart
I'm afraid to face this world with a true heart
So I just let myself be lonelier

Alone (alone) drifting on the sea, I can't find someone to talk to
Who will give me tenderness (hold me) when I feel my heart is almost broken?

Angel... angel...
Hoping you are by my side
Angel... angel...
Do you hear that I'm calling you?

Would you please tell the exhausted and lonely me?
That you'll always wait for me?

Angel... angel...
Please stay by my side
Angel... angel...
Please don't let go my hand

Music by David Tao, lyrics by David Tao & Wah Wah, sang by David Tao in Black Tangerine album

It's my B*day today~ & I felt even more lost & alone then ever... I feel like callin' my friends but I don't seem to wanna pick up the phone & ask her if she wanna go out on my B*day & just have fun coz she got a BF... my bro voice seems to echo in the back of my mind 'What kind of friends meet once in a couple of month? no call.. no nothing?'.. & my mom suddenly musing something like 'when B*day arrive.. u getting closer to death..' She didnt meant my B*day in particular.. more about herself [eventho~ she never talk abou her own B*day] & older ppl... I get the feelin' like yeah~ my days gonna come soon.. then B*day also meant ur mom's pain.. the day she almost give herself to u... I should be grateful for her to bring me into this world.. TV show 'hugging' as a new trend or something for Thailand.. we never did that sorta things... we were suppose to be strong & not whining with our parent once we get older.. it's getting even harder when u never even said 'mom, I love you..' I only know she knows I care...

Not to seem depress or anything.. I kept thinking alot about things but I can't seem to come up with a conclusion.. just let time passed by & watch things... I'm such a pathetic lil' person huh?

listen to 'Angel' by David coz it sooth me alot~ my angel

*In My Room*

There's a world where I can go and tell my secrets to
In my room, in my room
In this world I lock out all my worries and my fears
In my room, in my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming
Lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing
Laugh at yesterday

Now it's dark and I'm alone
But I won't be afraid
In my room, in my room

I luff this song ;_; by Wilson Phillips [again] they got great voices <3 <3

The dream is still Alive!

felt like writing something just to assure myself that I still got time in mah pocket.. but I know it's flying away so fast.. the end of the year is coming & u know how works always pile up at this time of year.. [I don't like that blogger couldn't use emode.. kinda make this blog darn boring XD]

nothing special.. recently, I try to help my bro out with his manga project, which makes me feel funny coz I never could accomplish even a single dojinshi in the past 2 yrs, but now I'm helping him with his comic story... I mean I don't have that much confident in my drawing & writing so how I can I know if my story will be any better? he seems to have alot of ideas in his brain that he simply doesn't show it to me much T-T well.. I wonder how this goin' to end since we let time slip passed us so much already... & the journey just begin XD

sentimental.. sentimental... & I realise my Eng ain't gonna get any better than this.. crap..

pick 'The Dream is still Alive' by wilson Phillips coz it's a good upbeat song.. I need to get socialise more but I hate socialising... XD

Goodbye is Tomorrow's Hello~

lol~ I was just fin GX~!!! Grrrrrrr I need to spit it out~!!!! nyaaaaaa I didn't hate it~ kinda like it somewhat altho I skip most part with the big-ugly villions & even teh handsome villians coz it's oh-so-boring~!!! lol~ the villians didn't even get to die~ WTF?!!! [okay I watch too much G-seed that every villians gets to face a horrible death fate XD]

the ending was oh-so-ridiculous [cant' blame them... GX got chop off, but it's already boring as it is anyway]~ a huge fighting mess then BOOM eveything over... blah~ what a Gundam way of ending-the-war-theory~ I guess it's the formula.. if we eliminate all the gundam from the beginning. the war won't happen & probably Bandai will get pissed off XD XD lol~ SUXXX capitalism~

almost forgot to mention.. I F**king HATE that narrator guy~!!!! Oooooooo~ he's f**king my brain out~!!! I'm so f**king happy they stop using his service after this XD XD

kinda disappointed a lil' that Jamil hook up with that girl,Sara XD he was suppose to stick with his buddy~the Dr. [who havn't got a name till the end] or maybe developed a relationship with his former rival. [forget his name but I think he's a cutie too <3] & GarrodxTiffa couple make me choke from sugar over dose [ughhhhhhh its tooo much..too sapppp~] /me luff luff Caris ~

last nite, meh bro show me 'Ebichu' anime.. XD XD perverted funny anime by Gainax~ lol~ was kinda funny but somehow I end up laughing just the first part coz it's kinda way too much dirty gag [I don't mind dirty gag, but it's not that amusing after 10 dirty gag coming ur way]

title for today is Tension songs 'Goodbye to me is just hello' [but actually it's literally translate 'Goodbye is just Tomorrow's Hello'] upbeat kinda song :)

*Black Tangerine*

I notice alot of ppl wearing black today. [altho I saw more ppl wearing red color XD] I'm wearing black-T myself so it's kinda strange but not bad strange :)

David Tao said before that Black is for the 'courage' to love so I guess I need alot of strength in this kinda weather... feel like snuggle up in the comforter all day & don't have to go to work XD lol~

well, my senior got into accident today :( fall from motorcycle.. I just visit her at the hospital [in my black-T.. WAiiiiiiii~ really not good] I feel very uncomfortable in there & speechless during my visit coz I dunno what to say or act.. we didn't have time to pick anything so it's kinda awkward really.. she throw up with blood & I afraid to even look at her >____<'' not to mentions I already feel bad about wearing black to visit sick ppl ;_;
I hope she get well soon.. >___<


ahhhh~ I hoping for a chance to use the title 'Black Tangerine' coz it's my fav DT's song XD so much emotions from David & I luv it <3 <3

This pic was done when I lost some one special in my life early this year :sniff: I also draw her wearing black [obsessed?].. I'm glad now she's doin' Okay.. :sniff: I miss her~!!! Winter taken all over me now & my B*day is coming!!

+Season of Loneliness+

The last leaf falls cushioned by the wind
As the snow falls upon my heart
My love’s been shelved as another memory
Oh... Till another season pass

Suddenly the trees rain forth their leaves
Why didn’t I feel the change before?
Oh... All the streets are lined with people in love
I walk alone in the embrace of night

I want to bid the past farewell
But the seasons they so quickly change
Oh...And it is so hard to stay strong
In this season of loneliness
The sea is a mirror for the bright sunshine
As love blossoms all o’er the Earth
All around excitement’s in the air
Oh I remember the madness

I look out of my window to see a withering tree
And my heart weeps for it
Oh... I now understand the feelings of those who’ve loved
How their hearts have been slowly withering

I want to bid the past farewell
But the seasons they so quickly change
Oh...And it is so hard to stay strong
In this season of loneliness

Again I’m bitten by the frosty wind
As the last bit of flame flickers weak
I flip through the album of my memories
It’s still the season of loneliness

-----------------------------------
'Ji mo de ji jie' [Season of Loneliness] by David Tao

wanted to give credit to the translator but I forgot where I've taken from >_<'' truly sorry..

the song truly reflect my heart at the moment coz I remember listening to this song during this time last year & it just made sense now... how sad to lost the person u love & all the feelin' u treasure in ur heart got blown away..

*wandering with the moon*

ummmmmm one click of a button & my previous post went missing so I have to wrote another.. blah.. I was ranting about shitty stuffs so maybe it wasn't meant to be post anyway :(

Today is 'Loy Krathong' .. November fullmoon festival... a time to celebrate, pretty much like 'thanks giving'.. thanking the buddha & the river for supporting lives thoughout the year.. I think it's 'family' quality time.. where kids dress in traditional costumes & float the flower-resemble thingy, 'krathong' ['loy' mean floating] there's also firework & fair :) very nice event can be watch on TV XD

I never join this festival since my parent r such old-headed Chinese family XD nyaaa~ it's my dad who never anticipate in any festivals... he never takes me anywhere except the time to give respect to our ancesters grave [that's probablythe most important Chinese festival apart from newyear]

lol~anywho I should be doing some pic I meant to draw for 'Loy Krathong' festival.. well not exactly but it just happen to be drawn during the festival.. have noting to do with 'Loy Krathong' whatsoever... not so sure if I will fin it on time.. >.<

the title *wandering with the moon* is the new track from Tension's greatest hit compilation 'Story'... ;P

like *WTF"~!!

I came back coz I just update my site & I can't see it~!!!! So damn frustrating~!!! >_<

I miss writing nonsenses on this blog for no reason... actually what happen the last time I did an update was almost a year ago so now it turn into a 'memory' & I'm so full of 'memory' right now that I hope I wont break down & cry after reading coz I'm f**king miss every single things that has happen before & now I lost so much.. I can't believe anything I actually saying anymore...

I lose 'hope'... not all but most of it went down the drain.. my youth is fading & I only see gray lining in my 'future'... :(

I'm too content to be selfishly secure in my lil' hole..

like WTF!?

moving on father's day

Ok, this will be my final blog... if u wanna read more.. pls go to here where I submit my pics & writing my journal ^v^/ I can't really support 2 journals at the same time so... hope u go read there ne..

It's father's day tomorrow... luv you dad alot na ja~

++Deviruchi's Kafra++

++Deviruchi's Kafra++
This is what I spend my couple of days working on it only to find how sucks it was when really published >_<... not that I'm dissatisfied with the work but I didn't think it would look this lousy... T-T oh, it's for the Thai RO Kafra Contest... people kept dressing Kafra with traditional dress.. but I feel like no Kafra in RO really look Korean [accept for certain NPC] nor Jap nor Chinese whatsoever.. ain't it suppose to look internationally? coz Kafra was the services girl all over the maps & not just certain areas... I just feel bored of seeing Kafra in Thai dress not that I hate it... >_< everybody kept doin' it same ol' same ol''....

We gonna see another shocking result out of this contest again... I'm so sure of it.. if I'm wrong then it will be nice to see some decent pics get the prize [won't be mine anyway] unlike the fanart contest last time... >_< I'm totally disapprove of the winner.. but u can't change the result anyway.. so...

/me digging a nice cozy hole to fit myself in....

note: Deviruchi's is the name of the hat that my Kafra wear coz I like the damn thing so much... Her dress wasn't really that outstanding & doesn't give any RO reference so I put the hat on her head just to make her look more wicked ^_^/ see if you like it.. & tell me

*insert title*

I really wish I could talk about last Sunday in which I went to the VBK comic party, but I only get there like couple of hrs or something coz I spent most of that morning making my bro's dojin & didn't get any sleep at all.. [but my adrenaline ran really good at the time ^_^]
The result was 5 books & we ran out of ink T-T [I swear to buy laser printer if I got enough money] so there we go.. me & my bro.. to Silom complex & it was crowded as ever.. just to feel & sell those 5 books... We didn't get enough brain to set the right title so 'MaRL' came in mind [a mix of the character initials] & we used it coz it's convinence but I'm gonna suggest a changes.. >_< coz I don't really like it that much...

so there you go... I have my say on that.. but I really dunno why I'm saying.. sometimes I feel so tired about writing but I feel the urge to talk most of the time unlike my bro who go babbling when he didn't get much sleep.. I usually babbling to myself most of time.. But I'm quite busy with stuffs now so.. it become iregulate now...

I tried making more sense when writing blog next time.. Y-Y

*fire alarm*

Wow... I haven't been written for so long >_< I got carried away by so many things now I don't think I will want to wrote it down.. the important thing is 'now' right? @v@/

Today, We had this huge activities with eliminating fire & working security (dunno what they call it in Eng) a very big event & lots of hectic stuffs to do... I don't like to mess up with fire coz I'm scared of it ( can't even light up matches without giving a litte yelp!) & now I'm wearing contact lenses so better not go near it... anywho, having activities with colleagues are very heart warming ^_^ feelin' very much like a big family where everybody shout, laughs & making noises all the over the place.. just so much fun... it feel so much like going back to school.. Ain't it funny? how I hate school life so much but now I kinda miss it.. I wish I've done it better only if I can do it all over again na...

The most surprising thing about today is this annoucement from the big boss about kicking out some employees... very scary.. I never thought that people who work for so many years would be fired that easily @_@ ok, not so easy but they did get fired & I had fear over my working fate coz I'm not fully employed yet >_<'' very very afraid.... I'd be very careful from now on... about doin' & talkin' & workin' real hard >-< still I can't resist the urge to surf the net just to relax... T-T duh!

sorry if today is a litte depressing.. I havn't manage my time very well to wrote every day.. & I didn't play RO that often either T-T/

*Rag-on!*

I went back to play Rag-online again after stop playing for couple of months (since I got a job that is) My time limit is not over yet so I guess I'll have to use it till it's over... not that I'm addicted to RO, mind you >v< Cy-chan gonna release another RO-dojinshi next Oct & My bro got to do the project too. So I kinda like become my brother's personal manager coz he's so damn lazy to think of a story... I'm not too good with RO so gotta use some sense >_< hope it come out on time.

Ok, as of today... I met this very nice Acolyte girl in RO. She's so nice to us novice (or to me? hahaha) everytime she met me standing or sitting.. She heal me without a word >v< I'm so happy coz I 'm so poor to buy any red potions & I'm too weak to fight long.. seeing her means that RO isn 't such a bad place like what the media like to say... OK, some childish brats who like to root & jam are everywhere but there must be some kind people out there too.. coz it's an Online game & like a society.. bad & good people hanging out there together... So today I wanna contribute my thanks to that Acolyte whom I forgot her name already >_< sorwey~!!! I'm gonna become an acolyte too ^_^ so I'm gonna be good like you sister!weeee~!

Song of the Day *Angel* by David Tao (thanks for coming to save my soul, Ms Acolyte >///<.. ^v^/)

*Hu Die*

I found my oasis today ^v^ 'davidtao.org'a whole web dedicated to David Tao~!!
someone translate David's lyric from 'Black Tangerine' so I finally understand why that Shantou's girl said 'his song is so dark' well.. it's inspried by the 9/11 incidents so most of the song is so sad but hopeful.. I can't understand much but after I read the Eng-translation of 'Dear God' it so clear how he felt about 9/11 >_< he's so damn American! not that I mind though... I grow up to American music heck! that must be the reason why I'm so attracted to his songs though sometimes I kinda like Penny's cheerful & sweet tunes better... I've been reading through his biography & interviews... wow! he's so passionate about his music.. I never thought to find a true musician & artist like him ever~! this is so cool ^_^ I'm so glad to find him!

last sunday I went to karaoke with bunch of friends (9 altogether including me!) we sings lots of Japanese songs though I really want to sing more Chinese songs but my chinese is too poor, I can't put on a record >_< next time I'll be more prepare & I'll sing 'David's' & 'Penny's'! ha ha we end up singing the tune from 'Sailor moon' & 'Saint Seiya' that remind us how old we are to still crazy about these oldie-anime >3< still it's fun.. we got a great laugh out of it & a good time too. I even learn how to get my voice right on the microphone but it still sound crappy & funny... will do better next time

the title 'Hu Die' (butterfly) is from David's 'Black Tangerine' Album (I'm definately gonna get his 'Ultrasound' hit album) I really not impress with the tunes but after I read the translation in Eng.. I fell in love with the beautiful lyric.. how he manage to make it sound special.. I wonder >v<.. the song 'Hate the red Chamber' is also funny.. I never read the novel 'red chamber' before but I get some ideas about the concept of how naive people thought about love making.. or maybe I got it all wrong (might try to read it someday)

There are two versions of 'Hu Die' so I gonna put on both ^_^ as I like both!! haha

"Butterfly"

When this world decided to abandon me
Like a hurt soldier I was left in the wilderness
I started to question the meaning of existence
In other’s eyes I became invisible
Does losing once mean I will never win again
Who will come save my lost soul

Every time I see you my soul becomes tranquil
Like a butterfly flying over a wasteland
I can continue to live I found my courage again
Your love is like oxygen helping me breath
I can breath again I can breath again
You’re just not willing to give up

Life is filled with all kinds of problems
Like walking through a maze without an exit
Oh no Time and time again I use excuses to escape
How come you never give up on me
What did I do to earn and deserve your care
How come you answer to my every call

Every time I think about you
The clouds part and the sun shines
See a butterfly fly over the wasteland
It’s so beautiful almost like a miracle
Helps me stand up from where I fell Wooo…

When I get close to you I feel safe
Your eyes look into me with no suspicion
You trust for me lets me be reborn
It doesn’t matter how cold this world is
I have you who loves me I have you

Loving someone like me isn’t easy for you
You experience my pain with me You’re the only one
Like how the sky clears after a rainy day
See a butterfly fly over the wasteland
I can keep on going I will forget the past
You are the one who helped me find my new life
credit to: UT Longhorn

the 2nd version of
"BUTTERFLY"

When this world has already abandon me like an injured left behind in the wildness
I Start to question if my existence has a meaning
In other's eyes I seem to be invisible
Is it losing and you'll never balance back
Who will come and safe a trouble soul
Everytime I see you, My heart is very quiet
Like a butterfly flying though a waste land
I still can live, I still can find courage
Your love is the oxygen helping my breathe
I still can breathe I still can breathe
You are never willing to give up
Life is full of mess, seven eight bad questions, Like running in a puzzle without an exit
Oh no... Again and again only use excuses to escape
Why haven't you got completely over me
What do I have for you to value
Why are you doing everything as I wish
Everytime I think of you, it's like the sun after the rain
Seeing a butterfly flying though waste land Is very beautiful Like a miracle
Like my standing up when I fall down Woo...
Only get close to you To feel safe
You look into my eyes without questions
Your trust to me Like me living again
Don't care how cold the world is, I still have you I have you
Loving a person like me is not easy on you
My pain you have to experience
You the only one to accompany me to heavan and hell
Everytime I think of you is like the sun after rain
Seeing a butterfly flying though waste land
I can continue
I'll forget the past You make me find a new life yeah....
Everytime I think of you, My heart is full of thanks
Now I can face myself
I'll treasure it forever I'll love you forever
In my heart, no one can replace your position yeah
You're the only one
credits to: longfumoon (+reesa)

The first was more compose but the second was the first that touch me ^//^ confused? heheh

*rain & sun*

what happen to my Oe BBS?!! O_o'' it's gone! dead? I dunno >_< hope not...I just make a new pic last night... ::sniff sniff::

Anywho, I'm quite content today ^_^ so I gonna talk about 'Pirate of the Caribbean' (correct the spelling) I finally seen it... & Johnny Depp is so damn gay! ha ha that's what I expected ^v^ Orlando Bloom was cute as 'Will Turner' (like him more than when he play 'legolas' in LOTR) It was a fun show so I went to check for fanfiction @ fanfiction.net lots of cute WillxElizabeth ficcies ^v^ surprisingly for JackxAnnamaria (it quite fun too) I can't find any WillxJack one! (I'm not actually into Yaoi stuffs much but I like to read the couple too :P they are adorable!) if they'll be a good stories.. I'll tell u ok ^_^/

It was suppose to get cozy but the sun is out at noon & rain come out at night O_o'' a weird weather isn't it? I can't get home without getting wet... that's not good...>x<

*I can't smile without you*

I was suppose to start up with a cheerful story about me goin' out & see 'Pirate of the Carribean:curse of the black pearl' yesterday... but I got caught with another embarrassing moment again today.. so it's no fun at all >_<... /me being childing for another whole forsaken day...

I feel headache, I feel tiring... I can stand a whole bunch of work load but I just can't stand making another person feel disappointed in me... T-T if only she could understand me just abit... but I suppose my personality just gave way for another disappointment...

/me humming the tune of 'I can't smile without you'.... but it's too sad to cheer my tiring soul...

if I'm happy enough tomorrow.. I'll tell some good stuff about yesterday ok? [sorry I always break promises.. so don't expect too much]

*Oopsie~!!*

I havn't tried to wrote from the office for what? a week? >_< I didn't dare do it eventhough my boss just got back from Russia [haha the cat is back!] my senior been keeping me busy but I still yet to get any busy.

I got nothing interesting what so ever with my life so I gonna post my latest pic here for ya all to see...

it's the twin from Tokyo Babylon, my old fav comic ^_^ I luv Subaru here than in 'X' [too grumpy & without his sis.. he seems like a lost puppy]

been doodle on the oe's board alot lately so go there & see ^_^

If Thai.net will be nice enough... I'll put up the new top pic on the index page too!

*call ya later okay~!*

Today I gotta receive too many phone calls & it's all important! @_@ I never receive this much calls in my life & how I hate talking on the phone... I never make good tel. conversation coz I get nervous all the time. try to make up a clever sentences is so difficult. That's why I still reconsider the idea of having mobile phone coz I never really meant to use it that much, it's just the trend Y_Y I thought siemen phone was kinda cute ^_^ while Nokia phone was more masculine [lol] can't choose >_<

well... I gotta fin yesterday's meeting report Y_Y ::sniff sniff::